Wednesday, May 6, 2009

the THREE things

Today I feel ok. I went to bed around 11:30 pm and woke up about 6:00 am. It was nice. It is my wife's 40th birthday today. I really hope she has a good day, she deserves it. It is also her last day of student teaching. She is really going to miss the students and the friends she has made.

Yesterday I talked a lot about my AS and how it affects me. The reason being is every morning or most every day I am going to give a report about how I am feeling so my family can keep up on me if they wish. I want everyone to know that there are THREE things that have the greatest influences in my life and the choices I make. Out of everything in my life my AS is in the top three things but it is the least of them. Today I want to talk about the second greatest, and tomorrow I will talk about the first.

So the second greatest thing that influences my life is my family. I will explain tomorrow why that is so. I love my family and would do anything I could to help them in this life and the next. My wife is one of the greatest people I have ever had the privilege to meet. Through all our hard times she has never left me even when some people said she could and they wouldn't blame her. I am not saying we haven't had our problems, because we have. This June 24th will be our 20th wedding anniversary. Our marriage is stronger than ever. I went on disability about 2 years ago, and she went back to school to get her teaching degree, and when she wasn't in school she substituted to make some extra money for us. This has not been easy on her. She has watched her husband who stood six foot and four inches and who was very strong, bend over into a weak cripple who can't pick anything up that weighs more than 20 pounds without hurting himself. Most mornings she or one of my children have to help with my shoes and socks and every once in a while she has to help me with my pants. That could not have been easy to go through for her. My wife is the best thing that ever has happened to me in my life.

My four children are wonderful blessings in my life. At times they are very trying and have caused me some of the greatest pain I have ever had in my life. There have been many times I have watered my pillow at night for them. They are smart good kids, and can be so much more than I think they realize.

MY oldest (17) is smart and has a lot of the same talents I have for finding solutions for problems. He has gone through some really hard times more than most kids I know. Some he has brought on himself because of the choices he made, some has come on him because kids mistake his kindness as weakness. What Anthony hasn't realized is there is a lot of potential locked inside of him. I am not saying he is destined for greatness; I am too much of a realest for that. I am saying that he can be much more than he realizes he can be.

My second oldest (13) is the kindest person I know. He is so kind and loving he cannot understand why kids don't want to be friends. Kids his age don't understand him and mistake his kindness for pacifism, and use it against him. So he tries to hide the love that he feels for people, and tends to hide his self away rather deal with kids his age. There are days when I have to force him out of the house so that he will play with other kids. IQ wise he scores very high and loves math and science. He enjoys creating things and experimenting to see how things work.

My only daughter (10) is a very beautiful girl. She has been through some things that no child should go through, yet she stands strong. She is a very smart gal and memorizes things very fast. Faster than I have ever been able to. She tends to follow her friends so my wife and I are trying to teach her to be a leader. I look forward every day to her kisses and hugs. She can always put a smile on my face.

My youngest is five years old. There are very few things I can think of that means more to me than to have him climb on my lap and give me a kiss then whisper in my ear "I love you Dad." I am anxious to see the man he becomes. At the same time as I watch him grow up it makes me sad, he will grow up and I won't have any more babies to hold, until my children have children.

I love my parents and have a deep and abiding respect for them. They gave me life, provided for me, sacrifice for me, and still do whatever they can for me. They love me and do all they can to show me that love. What more can a son ask of his parents. I have two brothers and 1 sister, I love them and think of them often. There are times when they know the right time to call, and when I have really needed them they have been there for me. I hope and wish for them all the best.

Well I have said a lot today, more than I had planned.

I am going to take a little nap now.

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